Friday, 6 January 2012

Who buys this crap?

Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam
Review Review Review Review Review Review Review Review Review Review

“What the hell are you doing? Have you got your face stuck on the keyboard again?”

Er no, I’m becoming an internet millionaire. Obvs. God! Do you know nothing!?

Being something of an erratic sleeper and not knowing when to walk away, I often getting stuck in weird website cycles…

I get trapped in long drawn out American rants of craziness that tell you how great their thing is for pages and pages of nonsense before ‘reluctantly’ agreeing to part with it for only 

 $49.99!

you try to leave their page and it refuses to let you, you try to shut down the page and it threatens you with face explosion, your only hope is to switch off the computer before it encases your brain and steals your identity but in its dying screams it offers  a special offer of just

 $29.99!

before finally dying in fits and shakes and oozing out a little bit of sick.

Late at night when you’re sleep deprived this is a rather horrific experience.

Naturally I assumed that no one, no one anywhere ever would actually buy this stuff, surely they all run screaming as the computer tries to insert its USB into their glabella.  

But according to radio 4 (and who wouldn’t believe Radio 4?) one bloke spent $15,000 on the crap! The crap then told him to sell crap but he hasn’t sold any crap so he just keeps buying crap. He just keeps on, like he’s a brainless zombie repeating the phrase ‘must be scammed’ as he tap taps on his little compooter.

Well apparently all you have to do to get these foo’s to buy from you is to use the words ‘scam’ and ‘review’ on your website, they will come scurrying from their dark little recesses and buy what ever the hell you tell em to.

I’ve never been one for ethics, so here go’s:

I have an amazing secret… just for today I will sell you this secret for only 

$19.99!

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