Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Bam's Back!

Bamboozle and his belly

It’s Tuesday. So I am in a foul mood.
I told Bamboozle, (my guest blogger) that I am in a foul mood. So he sent me this story:

(all spelling/grammar errors are his, but don’t think badly of him, he is more articulate than most humans)

Dark and stormy night there was lots of thunder and lightning, and a little monkey, who lived on the streets. The monkeys name was Paul Simmons. He loved the rain. It was in the rain that he had he most fun, and tonight was no exception. He liked it cos all the humans where in such a rush that they wouldn't notice him and his mischief. Paul LOVED Chocolate, more then most monkeys. To get his chocolate he would tie together the shoe laces of big fat ladies, then when they fell over he could take their bags which always had lots of chocolate in, this plan worked very well during the storms as they often slipped very easily. well on this stormy night Paul had his eye on this lady who had a BOUNTY! Coconut chocolate was his favorite. He followed her, waiting for his moment to tie the laces. Suddenly the Heffalump stopped at a vending machine to get more chocolate! Paul new he would have a good few minutes as the ladies fingers were to big for buttons, so Paul crept up on the lady very tentatively, when he got to her smelly shoes he began to tie the laces together, then before Paul new it he had been picked up by the troll! “I new you wouldn’t be able to resist a Bounty” she cackled, then Paul realized that this was a HAG RAVEN in a fat suit!!! Paul wriggled as much as he could but he couldn't escape her clutches. She took him back to her cave to eat him. When they got there she put him in a little uncomfortable cage, which had the skellyWeg of one the Hag Ravens earlier victims inside. the cave was dark, wet and smelly. Paul had a little cry as the Hag Raven started preparing the sauce to cook him in. “Don’t worry” said the skellyWeg “its not all that bad” Paul thought that the skellyWeg was an idiot so he smashed he head in, which cheered him up a little bit. Just at that moment Paul heard some voices coming from the cave entrance, they were talking in bamsat! Paul saw a bright Orange belly emerge from the darkness, It was Bam! the master criminal! he beat the shit out of the hag raven and knocked over her boiling ‘Paul Sauce’, unfortunately the Hag Raven managed to call the Monkey Police who came and took Bam away which was a shame cos paul really liked him. Luckily the monkey Police also Shot the Hag Raven in the face then wee’d on her, they then freed Paul from the tiny cage, the kind monkey police then offered Paul a lift back, so Paul wee’d on the Hag Raven then got in the monkey police car with the monkey police and Bam. Bam give Paul his Bounty in exchange for half a bar of dairy milk. When Paul got home to the streets he said “Bye!” to his new friends then settled down to eat his Bounty. The End

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