Thursday, 2 February 2012

Cold, innit?


Pretty darn chilly out there. So cold I am considering ear muffs. I haven’t worn ear muffs since I was about three but since we’re all being so retro I could get away with it. I look great in hats, maybe I should get a hat.

Anyhoo it’s gotton to February (finally) and this is the coldest month, everyone is falling about all over eastern Europe complaining of hypothermia and for the first time ever the Russians are putting on their central heating, which is causing an international fuel crisis.

But you know what this all means don’t you?

It means those crazy people (by this I mean Sarah Palin or anyone that can be found reading a copy of the Daily Mail) who still call climate change ‘global warming’ are going to get all confused.

how can we be affecting the planet?!
“It can’t be global warming if it’s getting colder!” They say in their self satisfied little voices.

Well you rancid, little, apricot-brained, flip-flop-faced, urchins of idiocy.

This could be like the coldest week on record.

I know I know, the records began like a couple of hundred years ago and the world has existed slightly longer than that.

But however you look at it the weather, the seasons, the climate whatever you want to call it (pagans call it God, at least they know she’s there I suppose) is changing.

I must admit that I am rather looking forward to driving around like Mad Max in a post-apocalyptic, desert world and eating sky prawns.

I reckon I could be like leader of a tribe or sumfink. I know you lot would follow me; the minute you lose your tv signal you’ll be looking around desperately for a new messiah to guide you through the crisis.

Might as well be me eh?

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