Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Evil Strikes Again

Had my second ever Ewok related nightmare last night.

Probably been exposed to far too much Ewok related material recently.

look at 'em! Smug gits.
I was Samwise Gamgee and I was fighting off an army of Ewoks with nothing but a bit of wood with a nail in it. It was really tiring.

And Frodo was pissin about trying to shoot a single orc with his bow and arrow but bein all like, ‘oh I don’t wanna kill nuffin’. Flippen lazy git that Frodo. 

And no I don’t have any idea why it was a Star Wars/LOTR cross over – it was a dream, don’t go all geeky pedant on me. 

I’m not one to go in for all this dream interpretation malarkey and I certainly don’t own a technicolour dream coat or nuffin’ but I reckon I can put a bit of money on the fact that I might be a bit frustrated and want to kill sumfink or someone – probably the person wot wrote “the time traveller’s wife”. 

If you have ever seen that film, or read the book of the film, you will know why I want to destroy them and wipe their mindless, over-sentimental, illogical, vacuous and intelligence insulting existence from the earth, preventing any repetition of the catastrophe that is that 'story'.

And if you are sitting there thinking ‘oh I fawt it was alright’ then do me a favour and stand still while I take out your face using a bit of wood with a nail in it.

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