Thursday, 29 March 2012

A Quick Note


As stated above this is a note, and a quick one at that.

I am still trapped within the pit of despair, I have had to craft a rudimentary duck quacker with my hair and toe nail clippings in order to entice a passing mandrake into taking this very message and updating it on my blog.

I apologise for my recent lackadaisical attitude with regards to my up dates, however my hands were sliced off during a ‘routine’ one to one session with an interrogator named ‘The Slicer’. I don’t think I have to go into graphic detail.

However I have grown them back using salamander dna scraped from an old lizard cage, so for the next few hours I’ve got ickle tiny baby hands wot look so cute, and yet so wrong.

But I have awaited the opportunity to make my move, to escape from this torturous hole in the ground, and now I have my chance.

I’m going over the top, I’m making my move, I’m crossing the line, I’m taking the plunge and I’m jumping ship, like a disease ridden rat.

I can’t say too much, the duck can only carry a message on a piece of paper 5cm by 8cm, so I cannot possibly provide you with any extraneous detail and I also must ensure that my points are made in a brief and somewhat succinct manner lest I run out of space on this tiny piece of paper, or the pen crafted using my own blood run dry.

However I can break the news that I will soon be free, I will back to you! My charming and loyal minions!

I shall be laughing with you and frolicking and we shall share the joy and happiness and warmth that you always find here on my little interwebspace.

I must go now, the smell of my rancid body festering in my own filth after being trapped in a pit for over a week is becoming too much for the duck. He was a little bit sick and it dribbled out of his beak.

 I’d never seen a duck wretch....

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