Monday, 5 March 2012

Where Have You Been All My Week?

just one of my nemesi
Well it has been a whole week since last I graced these interwebspace pages.

Even then it was with the aid of a small orange bellied monkey. How have you been coping in my absence?

I would imagine you haven’t been well.

To be honest neither have I. Thus, the curse of my terrible condition is that even the whiff of something a bit orf can send me into a swift descent towards incapacity.

The entirety of last week was a write off (is that how you spell it?) and I spent most of it in furious, frustrated rage. Like a goose in a straight jacket.

I managed to crawl into work to sit behind my desk and listen to the relentless chatter of gibbons. I often feel like a reluctant Dian Fossey.

There was talk last week of giving out prizes. Lord knows what for, or who to for that matter, either way I have a sneaking suspicion that PETA may have been involved somewhere along the line.

I spend most of my life sitting quietly and listening. A muted albatross.

As I sit there quietly and politely in my place I am forced to listen to someone dribbling dense and putrid, gormless, verbosity. Spilling it from their frothing mouths and pouring it incoherently across my face.

All I can do in response is sit. Quietly and politely whilst screaming in my head.

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