Tuesday, 17 April 2012

It’s at it again.


Only it isn’t ‘it’ anymore, it is a new it.

“What are you rabbiting about you moron?”  I hear you patiently ask.

Well as you all know, I have a love of my phone. BUT my wonderful pretty little phone, wot had pretty flowers on, had to be put to rest.

When it was opened we found it was filled with sand. Which was weird.

But now I have a new device! YAY
things were easier then

Now I have a brand new circle of hell to contend with.

A labyrinth of a menu with easy access to obscure services such as ‘push to talk’.

Push what to talk to who?

What is this? Is this part of the phone? Why is my phone offering me a service to talk to people, surely that is what it is meant to be doing anyway?!

Then it has a desperate urge to tell me every few minutes exactly how much credit I have left. I must look at this! I must patiently wait for this information to appear, pay it the attention it craves and then tell it to go away.

“Why?” I hear you ask, sensibly.

Because if I do not, then the fricken demented-demon-possessed-hell-beast-twit will refuse to perform any other function. I write a message, put the phone down, and nothing happens. Three hours later I look at the phone thinking ‘mmm that’s funny I was expecting a call’ – lo and behold, three missed calls. None of which were announced because I didn’t pay the due care and attention to the very important warning that my credit has not changed because I have free fricken messages!

The camera is better though. The camera takes pictures. This is nice. But does it save the pictures? Does it keep the pictures it has taken?

No.

Because it is ‘busy’. Busy doing what? It is my phone! My servant! My electric slave!

What could it possibly be doing to make it so busy that it cannot do what I tell it to!?

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