Monday, 30 April 2012

The most exciting thing to happen to you so far today. Maybe.

I feel like I’m being squeezed through a tube. This is not a feeling I particularly enjoy.

Now most of you would have been aware that last week was something off an ‘off week’ for me, seeing as I spent the whole time bemoaning my fate.

this is metaphoric
You see I had the audacity to go outside and see the world, as a result I became intensely ill and had to return to hide in my boiler cupboard watching repeats of ‘Murder She Wrote’ through the cracks in the door.

However, I am better now.

Better than I was; my head still feels like a pre-owned sledge hammer and my eyes have yet to adjust to the light which is commonly referred to as ‘day’, also, most sadly of all, I have fallen behind on my plans for world domination.

Alas Alack Alay and all that nonsense.

So listen up numnum’s I am back. So don’t go thinking you can just ignore this part of the interwebspace for a while. Nope, you are heartily wrong.

Tomorrow I shall be  waving my stick of injustice at you all, whilst giving you the first of my monthly ‘how to’s.

Have you just wet yourself in excitement? I think you might have done!

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