Thursday, 23 January 2014

I had forgotten

I admit it! I was warned, in a vague, wishy-washy sort of way. Also there is a teeny tiny part of my brain that remembered from last time and whispered softly to me at night, telling my dreams to be fraught.

BUT I LISTENED NOT!

I continued, blindly plunging forth, like a rabbit going white water rafting, I was exhilarated, excited, but really should not have been there, somebody should have seen me and stopped me and put some sort of procedure in place to prevent it from happening again.

“What are you talking about, you idiot?”

I think your questions have gotten far too cheeky in recent months! But I digress.

I am talking about DEADLINES!

The word ‘dead’ is there for a reason! It is to invoke fear! Panic! Mild alarm!

I sailed along my sea of tranquillity in my coracle of calm quite happily, until! All of sudden! There it was! Staring me in the face like a bandersnatch leaping from the shadows and snapping its jaws at me in a sort of snappy snappy way but a bit too far out of reach, so it has to sort of lean forward and extend its neck a bit and even then it can’t really reach me to cause any damage, so its just sort of a threaty thing, like one of them dinosaurs that has a ruff that suddenly sticks out in ‘Jurassic Park’ and the guy is all like ‘oooh look at you, you’re all cute’ and then BAM it eats his face.


Anyway!

I was fine about this deadline, until I suddenly had this moment of realisation.

‘What the hell am I doing?’

I had no idea how to do the thing that I should be doing, I had read nothing, NOTHING! That I was supposed to – I had assumed that getting the books out would be enough, that being the presence of the books would allow me to absorb their knowledge through some sort of literary osmosis – and I was left feeling ashamed and frightened in a corner.

“What happened next?”

Oh, you’re interested now are you? Well the truth is I screamed and cried and shouted and threw a bit of a tantrum and it magically got done. Without any help or advice or support or anything from anyone, anywhere.

Now all I have to do is trudge through the rain to hand it in.

Great.

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