Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Sheer inadequacy.

That is how it is in my head. Why is it that people can’t seem to cope with the idea of being competent, is that such a hideous thought?

It is almost as though by becoming an intellectual, an academic, a wiffly, waffly, silly, sausage of an over-thinking, balloon, floating through life on the whims of a fairy-eaten, woolly, blanket-brain, damages all the parts of the mind that make normal, humdrum, get-up-go-to-work-people function.

What time is it? What day is it? Where am I? Is that what its like to be me?

These are all the difficult questions facing those that wander the halls of that 1960s concrete stain on the landscape, apparently modelled on an Italian hill-top village, clearly by someone who had never seen an Italian hill-top village and only knew one thing about an Italian hilltop village and that was that an Italian hilltop village is invariably on top of a hill.

So now these wiffle-waffles who bounce around their concrete cages imagining the world to be full of wonder but too afraid to come out and see the reality of mundanity are in charge of my life. Yup. IN CHARGE!

In charge is a very loose description. It inspires images of control, restraint, order, or at least a vague awareness of what’s going on. But alas, no.

The waffle waffles shoot off in all directions, as if their balloon heads have been let go and all their gassy imaginings are spurting out and sending them wandering off in a random and unrecognisable direction of thought.

A new term has started!

This matters not to the waffle waffles, who are all off wiffling somewhere. Snorting around patches of vague ideas like truffle hogs overturning bits of shitty old rotting bark in the tulgy woods of the French country-side.

Wednesday, 1pm: Lesson time!

This matters not to the wiffle waffles! Sod lessons! Let’s do them last week instead! Sod telling anyone! Why tell them? This would be sheer madness! It would give the illusion of adequacy! And we wouldn’t want that sort of nonsense fogging up our impeccable image of utter ineptitude would we?

Bugger.

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