Thursday, 15 September 2016

I want to share this with you!

I don’t.

I really don’t.

I want to hide away forever and never deal with all these people all up in my business.


If I am to reach a point at which you are all glorifying me, like the Goddess I truly am, then… well… I have to at least pretend to like you.

So since it has been EXACATACALY one year since I last posted I thought I’d better do another little (weekly?) update for your faces.

Who are you? What is this? Why am I reading this drivel?

I hear you ask, confusedly. To be honest you should really stop clicking on random internet things like a pigeon that’s been trained to collect pigeon treats (What is a treat for a pigeon? An old bit of crisp?) and start knowing about what you're clicking before you click it… probably.

But for those of you who don’t know or haven’t being paying attention or who have the memory span of a thing that has a one year memory span, then I shall remind you that I was at the prestigious (i.e. expensive) University of Essex doing one of them there masters degrees in that there creative writing. I reckon I is a gud moddell fur how gud they is at that there teachin us how to write and that.

This ‘MA’ has involved reading things, writing things, handing things in before a deadline, getting up and going to things, remembering things, reading more things.

All in all it has been quite dreadful. To prove how dreadful it has been here is a detailed HD photograph of how I looked before the MA started:

And how I look today:

I think I’m going to need a few more weeks to recover.

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